This post is a little late to the party, but I’ve been thinking about writing it ever since #YesAllWomen was trending on Twitter. Recently, there’s been much debate about changing the norms that dictate how society views women, how men view women, and how women view themselves. I didn’t really realize the importance of this debate until I came across a Buzzfeed post one of my friends shared on Facebook.
Let me start off by saying that I am a feminist. I believe that both men and women should have equal opportunities, but when I read “29 Things Women Avoid Doing Because We Fear for Our Safety,” I had an epiphany. The post is self-explanatory. Women avoid activities like running at night, traveling alone, etc. because we fear for our safety. I identified with the examples a lot.
When I visited home, I went to a dance club with some of my girlfriends. Because I’m home so sparingly, nowadays, the girls have started the tradition of making it my “birthday” to add some excitement. Random people were coming up to me wishing me a happy birthday. One guy even bought me a drink, but I didn’t accept it. He came out of nowhere, and the only thought in my head when he put it in front of my face was, “I’m not drinking that rufi drink.” I’m pretty sure I said these exact words in response, “As a woman, I cannot accept a drink from a man when I didn’t see it being made.”
I had to move and wanted to sell some furniture on Craigslist. The first item that sold was my couch, and none of my friends could come at the appointed meeting time. I was so nervous that I sent a mass text out to everyone I knew in the city saying, “I would just like to inform you that if I don’t text you back, I have been abducted by people from Craigslist.” I survived the encounter and never had a problem after that.
The thing is that as I was reading this list of “29 Things Women Avoid Doing,” I kept thinking to myself, “Well, duh. Nobody should do that, even men.” Men shouldn’t ever answer the door to unexpected visitors in case they’re planning to attack you. Men shouldn’t ever give their last names to strangers or people they just met because it makes it easier to stalk you.
Then I had another thought, “Do men actually do these things?”
Thus struck my epiphany: My mind has been warped by society so much that I unconsciously expect men to attack me every minute of every day….and I didn’t even realize how warped my mind was.
So I’m adding a few more hashtags to #YesAllWomen:
Because every woman I know has experienced sexual harassment and assault. #YesAllWomen
Because I just moved to DC, and when I walk the streets, I’m scared that I’ll unwittingly initiate harassment no matter what neighborhood I’m walking. #YesAllWomen
Because every woman I know has had dreams about being raped, but none of the men I know have. #YesAllWomen
There. Here endeth the lesson.
thelongwayaroundmylife 